1. Analyze the power structure.

The organizational chart for the workplace will tell you who officially holds each position.  Use that same chart to determine communication flow between people.  (You may need to add more people to the chart since power is often derived from outside the formal structure).  Pencil in lines indicating the information flow, and you will see the pattern of where the power lies.  (TIP:  Know your gatekeepers – the people who either greet people, answer the phones, schedule meetings, take meeting notes or broker information for key people or larger groups.  They know what is happening before others do.  Carefully cultivate genuine relationships with gatekeepers).

2. Study the cliques – who affiliates with whom. 

You need to belong at work, but you need to choose affiliates wisely.  Don’t try to infiltrate small, tight groups of people who may seek to exclude or sabotage you; just watch and respect the dynamics.  Though you want to belong, choosing these cliques might not be wise.

3. Know your own place in the organization and build your network.

Get to know people at work, regardless of their official positions.  Develop relationships outside of work.  Assuming you are not working in a family business, keep your relatives informed but out of your work scene.  You need to develop a support structure to fit well into your position and to succeed at work but approach that with caution.  You will get to know people across many situations, and that requires time.  Be active and reliable in following up but let the network gel and grow carefully.

4. Develop soft skills. 

While you may be technically savvy, ensure that you can discern when tricky situations are about you or about other people.  Be diplomatic.  Get people to talk about themselves (people love to talk about themselves).  Learning to manage relationships is a crucial skill.  Stay in good graces with others and away from peril.

5. Ponte trucha

– the old Spanish saying that reminds us to be alert or vigilant and “get smart” about what is happening is good advice.  Watch carefully.  Be strategic.  Think twice about what you say and do.

6. Don’t stir the pot. 

Avoid gossip, speculation about people or the company, bragging or fabricating stories.  Work is no place for drama.  Once others see you as a troublemaker, that perception is hard to change.  Better to stay away from those problematic behaviors than to develop a bad reputation.

7. Be assertive but not aggressive.

It is common for women to mistake being aggressive with “empowerment,” often justifying it as being entitled to equality and access to upward movement.  Being pushy or demanding is often judged as rude and immature, and it doesn’t work well in office politics.  Diplomacy is more effective, and good manners still matter.  (Tip: Not getting what you want does not mean you automatically have to push harder.  Back off and review guidelines 5 and 8 for options.  You can still stand up for and get what you want, but diplomacy will help you get there without alienating people).

8. Know when to remain silent. 

Before sharing an opinion, correcting someone or simply demonstrating how much you know by speaking, ask yourself “Is what I am about to say going to help?”  “What will this statement really cost?”  “Will this issue or stance matter in five hours?”  “Five Days?”  “Weeks?”  “Years?”  Cultivate personal strength and practice good judgment by listening more and speaking less.  You will learn much and remain in good stead with others.

9. Use social media and e-mail judiciously.

Once a comment, opinion, photo or forwarded information is shared electronically, you’ve lost control.  Avoid copying everyone on each email lest you annoy them.  Include managers to praise and sometimes ask questions but avoid broadcasting criticism.  When it comes to others, have grace and save face – yours and theirs.

10. If you have a problem...

If you have a problem with someone at work, study the situation first and ask yourself if you should discuss it with the offender.  Try to resolve the problem, but if there is too much pushback, step back, observe and try another approach instead.  Since many problems resolve themselves with time, see if your work problem may take care of itself.  The only thing you can fully control is your own response, so examine your approach and your options.  You may not need to air your feelings or create conflict unnecessarily.

These guidelines may guide you in playing well with others at work.  Knowing how to manage office politics can save you much hurt, embarrassment and anger.  Watch carefully, act intentionally and give yourself enough time to figure out dynamics before jumping into any fray.  Managing the dynamics will sometimes be as (or more) important than what you know technically.  Navigate the office politics, and you help ensure your survival. •